The Rules of Love: A Personal Code for Happier, More Fulfilling Relationships

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November 2022

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The Rules of Love: A Personal Code for Happier, More Fulfilling Relationships


Get ready to experience the Rules effect. Begin to get more out of life, shrug off adversity more easily and generally be a happier, calmer, more fulfilled person. You’ll feel the benefits, and so will everyone around you.

Table of Contents


Rules for finding love
1 Be yourself
2 Get over it before you get on with it
3 You won’t be happy with a partner until you can be happy on your own
4 You’ll know them when you meet them
5 Choose someone who makes you laugh
6 Being less than a hundred per cent attractive is a great filter
7 Don’t keep making the same mistakes
8 Certain people are off limits (you know who they are)
9 You can’t change people
10 Relationships aren’t about sex
11 Get to know someone through all the seasons before making any major decisions
12 Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t care
13 If you can’t trust them, you haven’t got a relationship
14 Be honest (while you still have the chance)
15 Don’t play games
16 Don’t tar new partners with old brushes
17 Check you both have the same shared goals
18 Create the power balance you both want
19 You can’t make someone love you
20 Be cruel to be kind

Relationship Rules
21 Be nice
22 Be together because you want to, not because you need to
23 Allow your partner the space to be themselves
24 Look to your own faults
25 Be honourable
26 Put each other first
27 Recognize the signs
28 Be a hero – or a heroine
29 Accept the differences, embrace what you have in common
30 Don’t belittle your partner
31 You want to do what?
32 Let not the sun go down upon your wrath
33 Be the first to say sorry
34 Let them have the last word
35 Houston, we have a problem
36 Don’t put them on a pedestal and expect them to stay there
37 Know when to listen and when to act
38 Never stop trying to be attractive
39 If you can say something nice, do
40 Don’t try to be their parent
41 Be part of their life
42 If little things annoy you, say so – with humour
43 Go that extra step in trying to please them
44 Make sure your partner is always pleased to see you
45 Don’t dump responsibility on your partner
46 Let them know if you don’t like their friends
47 Jealousy is your stuff, not theirs
48 Your partner is more important than your kids
49 Make time for romance
50 Have a passion for your life together
51 Share the workload
52 Trust the other one to do the job
53 Don’t be a nag
54 Make sure your love making is making love
55 Don’t control them
56 Listen to what they’re not saying
57 Most everyday arguments are about something else
58 Respect privacy
59 Treat your partner better than your best friend
60 Don’t be offended if they want some space
61 Men like flowers too
62 Keep your finances separate
63 Contentment is a high aim
64 Be generous to each other financially
65 You make a choice every day
66 Don’t be a martyr
67 Stop sniping – someone has to
68 You don’t both have to have the same rules
69 Do it their way if it matters more to them
70 Put yourself in their shoes
71 In-laws are part of the package
72 Keep talking 148

Family Rules
73 Don’t blame your parents
74 Don’t let your parents control your feelings
75 Your children come before you
76 Nothing is worth falling out over
77 Don’t shout at the people you love
78 Treat them right, no matter how they treat you
79 There are no circumstances in which it is ever acceptable to say ‘I told you so’
80 Don’t pressurize your family just because you can
81 Never be too busy for loved ones
82 Make the effort
83 Your children need to fall out with you to leave home
84 They don’t have to be the same as you
85 Accept people’s flaws
86 There’s always stuff with siblings
87 Let go of your role
88 What will be left of you?

Friendship Rules
89 There are no rules
90 Your best friend was once a stranger
91 Only have people in your life who, on balance, make it better not worse
92 If you’re going to be a friend, be a good friend
93 Forgive
94 Never give advice
95 Don’t make other people uncomfortable
96 Find friends who love the truth
97 Never lend money unless you’re prepared to write it off
98 If you don’t like their partner, tough
99 When one finger points forwards, three point back
100 Friendships change
101 Know when to let go
102 Bitterness helps no one

Rules for everyone
103 People are more important than things
104 Guilt is a selfish emotion
105 Love equals time
106 The more you put out, the more you get back
107 Other people are where it’s at

The Rules of parting
108 Listen to your own internal voice
109 Recognize that it takes two
110 It doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault
111 Keep the moral high ground
112 Don’t keep raking it over
113 Leave the kids out of it
114 Remember they’re not a monster
115 Identify your own mistakes
116 Choose friends you can trust
117 There is life beyond parting

Had enough yet . . .?

Back Cover

A personal code for happier, more fulfilling relationships

Strong, loving relationships are what life is all about. And some people are really good at them. They find a partner who makes them happy and they know instinctively how to handle tricky times while keeping things fresh and rewarding. They have partnerships that stand the test of time and they make it look effortless.

Is there something these people know that we don’t? Is it something we can all benefit from? The answer is a resounding yes. They know the Rules of love.

These Rules are the guiding principles that will help you form strong and enduring relationships, and support you when things aren’t going the way that you wanted them to. In this new edition, Richard Templar has added 10 brand new Rules to help make your relationships even more rewarding. You’ll feel the benefits, and so will everybody around you.

For a life of fulfilling and rewarding relationships, you need The Rules of Love .


Richard Templar is the author of the international bestselling Rules books. Over 2 million people around the world have enjoyed and now play by Richard Templar's Rules. The complete list of titles is as follows: The Rules of Life, The Rules of Work, The Rules of Management, The Rules of Wealth, The Rules of Parenting, The Rules of Love, The Rules to Break, The Rules of People, The Rules of Thinking, and The Rules of Living Well.