The Rules of People: A personal code for getting the best from everyone

Total pages
October 2022

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The Rules of People: A personal code for getting the best from everyone


Get ready to experience the Rules effect. Begin to get more out of life, shrug off adversity more easily and generally be a happier, calmer, more fulfilled person. You’ll feel the benefits, and so will everyone around you. 

Table of Contents

Understanding people  

1 Understanding helps  

2 No one has to be like you  

3 People hear what they want to hear 

4 People believe what they want to believe  

5 Your attitude influences their response  

6 Remember your first impression  

7 People are tribal  

8 Everyone wants to feel valued  

9 They only tease you if they like you  

10 … but banter isn’t teasing  

11 Everyone else is insecure too  

12 Spots don’t change  

13 Behaviour isn’t character  

14 Other people’s relationships are a mystery  

15 Big words are there to impress you  

16 Confrontation can be scary  

17 People feel nervous because they care  

18 Angry people are sad people  

19 Crying isn’t always sad  

20 Some people just don’t think  

21 Square pegs don’t fit in round holes  

22 Wild and wacky isn’t always fun  

23 It’s hard being 13  

24 They’ll shout if you do  

25 Responsibility creates independence  

26 Teenagers hate you because they love you  

27 Talking is what matters  

28 Listening is what matters  

29 No one likes saying sorry  

30 The world is full of rebels  

31 Some weirdos are great people  


Helping people   

32 Put your oxygen mask on first  

33 Get in the swamp  

34 It’s OK just to feel  

35 Listen, don’t solve  

36 Know your limitations  

37 It’s not a competition  

38 Never give advice  

39 Accept their decision  

40 Give them control  

41 Get them to think for themselves  

42 Learn to be psychic  

43 Listen to what they don’t say  

44 People who can’t find an answer may not want one  

45 Don’t tell people to move on  

46 Loneliness is a state of mind  

47 Give them privacy  

48 All interactions are positive or negative  

49 Not everyone wants help  


Getting them on your side  

50 Loyalty runs both ways  

51 Remember the details  

52 Flattery should never be empty  

53 Praise effectively  

54 Keep your praise in proportion  

55 People want to be liked  

56 Earn their respect  

57 Have a sense of humour  

58 Don’t be scared to admit your mistakes  

59 Be tolerant  

60 Make individual relationships  

61 Turn the best side to the front  

62 People generally agree with themselves  

63 Credit people with your own ideas  

64 Don’t tell them they’re wrong (even if they are)  

65 Get them to collaborate  

66 Be human  

67 Share  

68 Say thank you properly  

69 Get under their skin  

70 Criticise constructively  

71 Agree without agreeing  

72 Let them win  

73 Make it three-dimensional  

74 Give and take  

75 Know what you both want  

76 Get all their cards on the table  

77 Give them a get-out  

78 Never be scared  

79 Don’t get caught on the hop  

Difficult people  

80 There’s only one person you can change  

81 It’s scary being controlled  

82 If they feel small, they’ll big themselves up  

83 Shouty people want to be heard  

84 Negative people can’t half be useful  

85 Control freaks know they’re right  

86 Blackmailers want to control you  

87 Insecurity can cause mistrust  

88 Prejudice comes from ignorance  

89 Martyrs crave recognition  

90 Sensitive people can’t toughen up  

91 People will listen if it’s in their interest  

92 Passive-aggressive people fear conflict  

93 Patronising can be accidental  

94 You can’t beat a true narcissist  

95 Moaners don’t want to change  

96 Competitive complainers don’t just need a whinge  

97 Secrets are full of power  

98 Some people just can’t lose  

99 Manipulation is more than just persuasion  

100 Busy people are less trouble  

Back Cover

A personal code for getting the best from everyone.   

We all know someone who is a natural ‘people person’. They seem to understand what people really want, what they really think and what they really mean. They can effortlessly get people onside, and keep them happy and motivated. 

Is there something they know that the rest of us don't? Is it something we can all learn? The answer is a resounding yes. They know The Rules of People. 

These Rules are the guiding principles that show you how to connect with strangers, build strong relationships with friends and colleagues, and even get the best out of difficult people. They will help you say the right thing, do the right thing, and know instinctively how to handle every situation. You’ll have relaxed, easy relationships and you’ll be that person who gets on with everyone.


This edition includes a new bonus section, 10 Rules for Socialising, to help you enjoy a relaxed social life by doing it in ways that suit you.

You can be that natural 'people person' that everyone else aspires to be.


Richard Templar is the author of the international bestselling Rules books. Over 2 million people around the world have enjoyed and now play by Richard Templar's Rules. The complete list of titles is as follows: The Rules of Life, The Rules of Work, The Rules of Management, The Rules of Wealth, The Rules of Parenting, The Rules of Love, The Rules to Break, The Rules of People, The Rules of Thinking, and The Rules of Living Well.